Steps to the Rest of My Life

                          [PHOTO SOURCE -National Geographic online images]

(The writing below is not mine, but the SENTIMENTS are mine.  I offer a SPECIAL THANK YOU for the words and the comfort they proffer a broken Heart and walking wounded --  in our ever changing Journey.  Our Journey Begins -- as always with another stepping stone and learning experience in this path of LIfe, with that First Giant Step of Faith for a better Tomorrow!  Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011)

***************

Steps to the Rest of My Life

Today I will pause on the way to tomorrow,
and I’ll reflect on yesterday.

I’ll examine the reasons for my pain and my sorrow-
determine which debts I must pay!

I’ll retrace the steps that led me to this-
this cold place of darkness and fear!

And I’ll slay the dragons - if they still exist -
and the demons that invited me here!

I’ll leave them in ashes and never look back-
get rid of the pain and the strife!

I’ll tentatively take my first steps to the future-
those steps to the rest of my life!
[~ June Kellum, Feb 2004]

Website  [ http://juniesplace.blogspot.com/2009/02/poem-steps-to-rest-of-my-life.html ]

BITTERSWEET ABSENCE

   [Photo Source: Google online image]

Their absence in my Life is a Bittersweet ache still – that throbs in the back of my Heart, whenever I think of them which is often – but actually all the time!

After all, when I left in 1978 at age 32, they had been my Family – my Loves – for more than half my Life!  He was age 36 and our child age 14  - we were so young to be living in a Family without Love!

Now, at age 65, I still feel the pain of separation – the void where once Family existed and Never would be again in my Life!

However, there were no other options back then, and the pain of "Family" was killing my spirit and body with the sickness of neglect, betrayal, lies, and Lost Love!

The Loss – ever fresh – in my Heart and mind – has Never healed!

Some deep wounds Never do – such as in my case!

Sad and puzzling – really – for there was NO Loss for them – they went on with their Lives – without me – as if I NEVER was there at all, or ever had been!

No wonder then, why I was dying a slow death, day by day, when I resided under the same roof with Them!

The Pain was so BAD – I was seeing two doctors and taking medicine to dull the emotional pain and trauma!

They were killing me slowly!

Moreover, They still are – in their Bittersweet Absence from my Life!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]