THEN AND NOW – HERE AND THERE

         (Photo Source: Google internet images)

(16 June 2012 – Well, corn is on sale at Safeway and very plentiful at the local Farmer's Market.  I really enjoy adding corn to salads, soups, salsa, and especially to my homemade corn bread (fresh corn kernels adds a great texture for a Tex Mex cornbread recipe). 

Below is a short offering I wrote, in which I mention how Summer is a time for leisure and fun -- to be enjoyed while one may, for Winter is not far behind those Summer days where one must forage for the good times. 

Also, below is my maternal Cousin Emily Elizabeth Dickinson's poem #930, in which she writes of her reflections on Summer and harvesting of corn and rose blooms turning into hose hips / seeds, having a sad face that turns bright red with cheer in time, feeling both the warmth of Summer and the frosty sorrow of Winter, and finally comparing our Summer and our Winter feelings and circumstance and wondering which really one prefers.  dht) 

  

THERE IS a Time for Summer play –

A moment of Joy before it strays.

WHERE IS the Age for Winter forage –

A blink of an eye before all's rendered passage.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr]

  

 There is a June when Corn is cut
And Roses in the Seed —
A Summer briefer than the first
But tenderer indeed

As should a Face supposed the Grave's
Emerge a single Noon
In the Vermilion that it wore
Affect us, and return —

Two Seasons, it is said, exist —
The Summer of the Just,
And this of Ours, diversified
With Prospect, and with Frost —

May not our Second with its First
So infinite compare
That We but recollect the one
The other to prefer?

[Poem #930 by Emily Elizabeth Dickinson] 

RIP – Be Still

[Photo Source: Google online images]

(28 NOV 2011 – My weary Heart beats discordant with Time – for my Heart lies in the Past with my Memories.  Life goes on all around me as Nature takes its turn in Time with the changing of Life's seasons.  My steps are disharmonious with Nature's Time - My Heart is tired of the Loss.)  [dht-2011] 

BE STILL my weary Heart.

Listen to Nature's Heartbeat. –

In accord with the changes of Nature's Seasons.

Rest here in Nature's bosom –

In accord with the changes of My Seasons.

As one with Nature's Hourglass –

In accord with the changes of Life's Seasons.

Rest In Peace my weary Heart –

BE STILL.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr – 2011]

                   [Photo Source: Google online images]

TIME – THE STILLER OF STORMS

                                    [Photo Source:  Google online images]

(13 NOV 2011 – How long does it take to cross the stormy waters of hurt, wounds, despair, grief, and betrayal?  A day?  A week?  A year?  A decade?  A Life Time?  Everything in its own Time – especially healing!  Forgiveness and resolution and closure – are but words to the story!  Time is the True guardian of the Heart!  dht)

  

So many of Life's events present trials that challenge the Heart, the Spirit, and the Mind.

As I reflect on some of the most turbulent periods and occasions in my past – it seems the only "True" and lasting balm was "Time".

Sometimes in a "Storm", there is NO rational thought -- just Rage and Fury.  The calm before the Storm is deceptive – and NOT a good gauge of the horrific waves in Fates Decree.

In the midst of conflict, there is NO solution, NO compromise, and NO patience.  The quiet holocaust needs must "play out" in its own way --  Time – the only True Stiller of Life's Storms.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr – 2011]

                              [Photo Source:  Google online images]

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A QUIET JOY – A TIME FORGOTTEN

(Photo Source: Google online images]

(5 NOV 2011 – There is in Nature a healing balm – available to all freely and in abundance.  When the tide of melancholia threatens to drown me, I go outside and tend to my garden, walk under the stars, or watch the clouds roll by.  It is only outside that, a certain welcome calm flows over me in a veil that shields me from transient thoughts of gloom.  dht)

As I let my head lay against a woodsy Oak –

my eyes scanned the azure Sky –

and I watched the clouds move across

a bright blue Sky.

For a moment, I forgot,

at least for the time being,

what it meant to be unhappy,

or lonesome, or depressed.

A Quiet Joy –

filled my senses –

A Joy that outlasts –

Transient sorrows.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr – 2011]

Sweet Taste of Love

 

[Photo Source: Google online images]

(23 OCT 2011 – The Sweetness of Life is watered down by the Tears of a wounded Heart.  dht-2011)

My eyes are cloudy -- 

with the feelings of one -- 

whose Life has passed by -- 

without the Sweet Taste of Love -- 

to ease its Passage.

A long ago Dream, unfulfilled -- 

of children, spouse, family, and friendships --

of gatherings at holidays and family occasions --

of tables laden with food from favored recipes --  

of Love and Laughter, of belonging --   

linger in the shrouded corners of my Heart.

Tears fill my eyes

as I dare to Dream

the incredible – the impossible. 

Yet I'm afraid to release the Dream -- 

for fear its absence would be unbearable.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

DAY's VENUE

 [PHOTO SOURCE: National Geographic online images]

 

(20 Feb 2011, Sunday --  Just a few words to go with this PIX.  It is astonishing how a few short phrases pierce the gray of your world with a single beam of light. dht)

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WHERE goes the day

Down yester night's passage.

How blind today's privilege

Lost fast in yesterday's grasp.

Tomorrow's dream a pledge

Whence nature's precedence assures.

Breast expanse upon deep breath

While shallow essence sums life's interval.

What key holds true for grantor's trust

Whilst surety and worth stand anon.

Time bespoke metered sameness

Whose vowel foretold spoiled fortune.

Ribbons linger as fragments

Where once whole, a heart full.

Shattered spectrum of hopes

Cast away on ocean's tears.

Love's gamble played and lost

Age of regret the debt.

Once concealed by life's chains

Now released by nature's bail.

What hostage behind the threshold

Where compromise affords release.

What sound the closing door

What venue the open window.

What knock insures a beggars entrance

What token barters the price.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr]

***************

In this offering:

What do you notice about the words?  Their meaning?  Punctuation?  Sentence structure?  Pairing of Sentences?  First word, middle, or last words of Sentences?  What words could be substituted?  What connection words added for clarity?  What meaning of your own would you assign to these words, phrases, sentences?

--------------- OR, Why didn't you just say so! ---------------

 

Today is just a memory that has passed into yesterday.

Thoughts of yesterday blind you to the beauty of today.

Tomorrow is a new beginning as sure as the sun will rise.

Now the lungs expands, as if you had been living with too little air for a long time, where before your breaths were shallow and the pain too great for deep breathing.

What is the secret to giving your trust to another, while other(s) do nothing to earn and secure your trust?

The rest of your life will be nothing but more of the same ... misfortune.

The ones you LOVED the most in this world, have all cut away a piece of your heart, until all is left are tattered ribbons of melancholy and despair.

A bright future so full of a kaleidoscope of hopes lays shattered, lost and washed away with oceans of tears.

It may be better for some to LOVE and LOSE, than never to LOVE at all; but what price must be paid and for what duration.

The years of aching emptiness and pain are camouflaged in life's daily routine, but soon there will be an end to the pain as nature ends its hold to death's surrender.

Where are the words of forgiveness and compromise that release pain's grip on a broken heart?

The silence of the closing door confuses the opening of a window; as the lack of plain speaking confuses the path to understanding.

What will it cost the one who knocks; and what more must the one who knocks surrender?

 [Dorothy Hazel Tarr] 

***************

 

WINDOW DREAMs

How sharp the contrast between

the heart's abode now worn with time's despair

and the gaping mawe of fate with

its distant vistas casting new shades of meaning

on another world (another life, another time, another place)

filled with vibrant colors, sweet breaths, soft gentle breezes,

and LOVE's warm embrace.

 [Dorothy Hazel Tarr] 

Steps to the Rest of My Life

                          [PHOTO SOURCE -National Geographic online images]

(The writing below is not mine, but the SENTIMENTS are mine.  I offer a SPECIAL THANK YOU for the words and the comfort they proffer a broken Heart and walking wounded --  in our ever changing Journey.  Our Journey Begins -- as always with another stepping stone and learning experience in this path of LIfe, with that First Giant Step of Faith for a better Tomorrow!  Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011)

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Steps to the Rest of My Life

Today I will pause on the way to tomorrow,
and I’ll reflect on yesterday.

I’ll examine the reasons for my pain and my sorrow-
determine which debts I must pay!

I’ll retrace the steps that led me to this-
this cold place of darkness and fear!

And I’ll slay the dragons - if they still exist -
and the demons that invited me here!

I’ll leave them in ashes and never look back-
get rid of the pain and the strife!

I’ll tentatively take my first steps to the future-
those steps to the rest of my life!
[~ June Kellum, Feb 2004]

Website  [ http://juniesplace.blogspot.com/2009/02/poem-steps-to-rest-of-my-life.html ]

BITTERSWEET ABSENCE

   [Photo Source: Google online image]

Their absence in my Life is a Bittersweet ache still – that throbs in the back of my Heart, whenever I think of them which is often – but actually all the time!

After all, when I left in 1978 at age 32, they had been my Family – my Loves – for more than half my Life!  He was age 36 and our child age 14  - we were so young to be living in a Family without Love!

Now, at age 65, I still feel the pain of separation – the void where once Family existed and Never would be again in my Life!

However, there were no other options back then, and the pain of "Family" was killing my spirit and body with the sickness of neglect, betrayal, lies, and Lost Love!

The Loss – ever fresh – in my Heart and mind – has Never healed!

Some deep wounds Never do – such as in my case!

Sad and puzzling – really – for there was NO Loss for them – they went on with their Lives – without me – as if I NEVER was there at all, or ever had been!

No wonder then, why I was dying a slow death, day by day, when I resided under the same roof with Them!

The Pain was so BAD – I was seeing two doctors and taking medicine to dull the emotional pain and trauma!

They were killing me slowly!

Moreover, They still are – in their Bittersweet Absence from my Life!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]