Winter's Calling – Lost Love

                    [Photo Source: Google online images]

(29 NOV 2011 – Love's bloom died on the branch – never to easily recover from Loss, Pain, and Betrayal.  When does the Pain fade – dull its sharp focus.  The price is too high.  I simply cannot see beyond the gaping maw of my fate before me, though another may.  Some say despair is paramount when one is no longer able to sustain, even for the briefest moment, the notion that all will be well in the end.  Perhaps if they understood how many pieces my heart had broken into, they would then suffer me.  dht)

Slowly – piece-by-piece – is the process of withdrawal unto self, the Spirit withering just as leaves on the tree wither in Winter's calling.

The enfolding warmth of a bright sunny day – loving spouse and Family – fall by the wayside of a troubled Path.

Reality's illusions of Familial Love -- drop away as falling leaves absent the limbs of trees.

Whispers of Lost Love rustle in the breeze, as favorite memories of days gone by -- drop away as dead leaves from barren branches.

As Times passes through Nature's Seasons, the past becomes muted as if the Years belonged to someone else – apart – just as the leaves on the ground seem to have forgotten from whence they sprang.

All Hope of a change of Season – of Heart – with renewed sprouts forthcoming of a Litany of Longing and Affection – died as the fallen leaves from barren branches.

As the last rays of Winter's light withdraws from a frozen Landscape – a cold Heart – the Season falls into Morpheus's embrace with silent tears.

Love's Mystery withered and died – when it should have grown – pushed to the deepest corner of the Heart – where no light shines and only shadows of memories linger.

A new Spring follows the Winter's solstice for some -- for others the Change of Season cannot be weathered and can no longer "move on" with Life's Journey.

Life's Journey is a lesson of survival without Love, without sunshine, without warmth -- bereft of Hope, of Happiness, Youth, Dreams --

Forever Lost – Forever! 

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

JUST A CANDLE'S AURA

                                  [PHOTO SOURCE: GOOGLE online images - flames]

(I wrote this, 15 Jul 2011, thinking about how bright the Future's venue from my youth's portal.  The visions of hope from my girlhood, were tarnished and faded by the reality of Life with all its challenges, disappointments, and distractions.  Now, in the winter years, the bright aura of my youth does not burn as blue a hue. dht-2011)

The brilliant Aura of Youth –

now harnessed by Life's Distractions

and Time's Passage –

fades until No More.

The Ending of the Day --  

has mellowed to a fine Hue –

the sharpness of a stormy Passage.

There's a momentary madness

burning high in Youth's Abode –

Now extinguished in Elder Days

of unrealized Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams.

The moment –

Nothing more remains –

Just A Candle's Aura !

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

WHERE ONLY SHADOWS DANCE

                                                        [PHOTO SOURCE: GOOGLE online images]

(I wrote this, 13 Jul 2011, in a gray frame of mind, all too frequently occurring.  The "good times" in my life so far removed and their memory fading, seemed to go by too quickly.  Only now as I re-play those favorites, do I feel I was not prepared to savor the precious few bright and clear moments.  With misty eyes and wet checks, I try to recall happier times, despairing at the barriers that the 'bad times" cloud with melancholy. dht-2011)

The days at times are shrouded

in unremitting shades of gray.

Dark shadows obscure

the corners of my life.

MELANCHOLY is as a shroud

that allows only gray scales of color –

NEVER the rainbow rues

of LOVE, JOY, HOPE, BELONGING...

The edges of memories blur –

their shape and texture mute –

with a blink of the mind's eye –

they recede.

How strange it seems they happened

Just As Quick in their Time.

Now replaying those moments over-and-over,

thoughts drift through Barriers

NOT even Time's Gate Keeper can Deny.

The vast darkness so dense at times,

the light cannot invade the Expanse

WHERE ONLY SHADOWS DANCE!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

DAY DREAMING

                  [PHOTO SOURCE: Google online images – see web link on photo]

(Inspiration and itchy fingers [for I always write in a tablet by hand] had me writing these unrhymed prosey words on 11 July 2011.  So here is a TWO-FOR-ONE offering. dht-2011)

JUST DAY DREAMING

Some days are just easy and
made for lazy-ing around and
JUST DAY DREAMING
about your Life, Yesterday, Today, and
pondering Tomorrow!

My life is a river that flows, I know not where –

With eddies for reflecting  --  
And swift currents gone too quick –

Past the 'Shores' of my life.

Yesterday's youthful dreams,
Today's hopeful goals,
Float on the water without anchor,
Toward Tomorrow's Destiny.
[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

A DAY DREAMING TRAVELER!

The skyline is a Mocking reflection of my Day Dreamer's Passage.

My thoughts wander chasing butterflies in the Garden of my mind.

Graceful waves of ferns emote a welcome greeting on my Sojourn.

Glimmers of blue and green sparkle at the edges of my Dream off the cool waters catching the sunlight.

My Day Dreamer's thoughts feather to nothing, burdens of the day, easing the Signs of worry from my brow.

A brilliant smile lit from within, hints of the whimsical fancies that dance to a tune only this Day Dreamer hears.

Mysterious thoughts challenge and inspire and excite my Day Dreamer's Nature.

Lack of coherent order releases the Bonds that shroud the Boundary of my senses.

Reflections of a secret romantic, flicker as patterns of mist and fog, smoke and shadow, sun and moonbeams, and fall across my Day Dreamer's imaginary Landscape.

Warmth, laughter, and LOVE -- all welcome ingredients for Today's Illusions and Tomorrows Hopes.

And, the polly wogs in the Pond all turn into Princes, as the Day Dreamer's interludes slip by-the-by.

The drab sparrow drops its cloak, revealing beneath its brightly feathered finery in a Peacock's plumage; But, Beware the hidden heart of a Hawk!

A profusion of flowers array in drooping sleepy splendor along the Day Dreamer's Path.

Candle flames dance merrily into the evensong of the Sunset.

Flickers of moonlight beckon the Day Dreamer to witness its play on the garden Steps.

Overhead the stars in the night lit heavens, shine as celestial beacons, softly guiding this Nocturnal Traveler.

Whispers of a soft summer evening drift on a gentle breeze, ruffling the rhythms of my Flight.

Such are the Meanderings of my mind.

I am – A DAY DREAMING TRAVELER!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

DREAMING -- Soap Bubbles

                   [PHOTO SOURCE: GOOGLE online images -- Soap Bubbles]

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(I wrote this today (3 Jul 2011) as I was thinking some introspective thoughts about life, time, and circumstance; and the soap bubble seemed the perfect symbol to 'pair' with the bubbles.  LIKE moments in time, in our lives --  Just Thoughts that Come and Go! dht)

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WHERE has the time gone?  How fast the years have come and gone!

The PRESENT has no more substance than SOAP BUBBLES blown from a soap bubbler.

TOMORROW is a dream, a promise, a hope for the nether.

I believed in my DREAM (fool that I am) and my heart sang with HAPPY thoughts.

Now, shadows intrude where the joy and sunlight have withdrawn.

Sometimes life takes a different course than what we plan or expect.

YES, I had been a DREAMER, full of hope and plans. NOW, such dreams are faded, never to be realized, and only live as wispy thoughts that float on the air as soap bubbles, and then burst.

In my mind, pictures flash of days long passed and flow over me in quick waves (NOT in any sequence of time).

I wish at times (all the time really) for a second chance with all I have learned--to turn back the clock, and...

I cling to the GOOD pictures and try to push away the BAD pictures--but it seems they are one and the same.

HOW does that ole saying go?

"You have to take the GOOD with the BAD."  (or something like that)

SO, the soap bubbles drift -- each capturing a moment of time in my life, each a good and bad 'picture' of a time in my life.

Soap bubbles as transient as my next breath!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

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[PHOTO SOURCE: GOOGLE online images -- Soap Bubbles Bursting]