The Path Behind

                            [Photo Source: Google online images]

(23 OCT 2011 - Who is to say how long the Journey?  How long the Heartache?  How long the grieving?  Who can say – when it's done?  There is but ONE LIFE, but many ROADS and many TEARS to pave a Path!  Never again to relive those precious moments Past – Yet Never really living the Present!  Forevermore living on the sidelines and shadows! ~dht-2011)

The Past is so hard to release – 

at times, it is the only Reality –

the only Companion.

There is only the Past –

there is Nothing to take its place –

in the Here, Now, or Future.

The Path ahead holds no interest –

holds no variation –

holds no Hope.

Tis a never ending struggle –

putting one foot in front of the other –

getting through the daily serving –

of Heartache and Despair.

My daily walk -- Footsore –

with wounded Heart --

with eyes continually looking –

at The Path Behind.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

MEMORIES - 101

                      [PHOTO Credit: A red Camellia -- my photo, my camera Feb 2011]

Precious memories Linger –

ashes the only remains –
that keep me warm –
in the Cold of my Winter years.

Warm memories almost erase –

the middle years when –
the turbulent periods of wedded Life –
shadowed, poisoned, and imprisoned the Spirit.

Well tended and watered with many tears –

memories traverse the pathways of the mind –
sometimes bringing a smile –
but more often sorrow, regret, and despair.

Long since retired from the wedded field –

never more to share a spouse's Life –
Yet held hostage by the memories –
of the other half.

Where are my "wings" that I may soar –

through these stormy gales –
through a realm of shattered dreams –
a waste land of broken promises.

What Lingers now remains –

only an unwilling chattel –
suborned to the will of fate's design –
swept away –  adrift on a tide of memories.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

BY WHAT NAME

  [PHOTO SOURCE: Google online images – fractal]

(I wrote this, 6 Sep 2011, thinking about what I did Yesterday and what I need to address Today. All the while, I know there will be 'left-overs' that will not be done Today, and will have to be done sometime in the Future. I speculated upon what keeps me from completing all the things on my 'DO TODAY LIST'? Is it -- the over whelming tasks, energy levels, health issues, emotional baggage, fear that I won't have anything to do when the 'list' is done? Chuckles! -- There is ALWAYS things to do on the 'DO TODAY LIST' !!! dht-2011)

By what name the Past --

     be Yesterday

By what name the Present --

     be Today (Now)

By what name the Future --

     be Tomorrow.

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

WHERE ONLY SHADOWS DANCE

                                                        [PHOTO SOURCE: GOOGLE online images]

(I wrote this, 13 Jul 2011, in a gray frame of mind, all too frequently occurring.  The "good times" in my life so far removed and their memory fading, seemed to go by too quickly.  Only now as I re-play those favorites, do I feel I was not prepared to savor the precious few bright and clear moments.  With misty eyes and wet checks, I try to recall happier times, despairing at the barriers that the 'bad times" cloud with melancholy. dht-2011)

The days at times are shrouded

in unremitting shades of gray.

Dark shadows obscure

the corners of my life.

MELANCHOLY is as a shroud

that allows only gray scales of color –

NEVER the rainbow rues

of LOVE, JOY, HOPE, BELONGING...

The edges of memories blur –

their shape and texture mute –

with a blink of the mind's eye –

they recede.

How strange it seems they happened

Just As Quick in their Time.

Now replaying those moments over-and-over,

thoughts drift through Barriers

NOT even Time's Gate Keeper can Deny.

The vast darkness so dense at times,

the light cannot invade the Expanse

WHERE ONLY SHADOWS DANCE!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

DAY DREAMING

                  [PHOTO SOURCE: Google online images – see web link on photo]

(Inspiration and itchy fingers [for I always write in a tablet by hand] had me writing these unrhymed prosey words on 11 July 2011.  So here is a TWO-FOR-ONE offering. dht-2011)

JUST DAY DREAMING

Some days are just easy and
made for lazy-ing around and
JUST DAY DREAMING
about your Life, Yesterday, Today, and
pondering Tomorrow!

My life is a river that flows, I know not where –

With eddies for reflecting  --  
And swift currents gone too quick –

Past the 'Shores' of my life.

Yesterday's youthful dreams,
Today's hopeful goals,
Float on the water without anchor,
Toward Tomorrow's Destiny.
[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]

A DAY DREAMING TRAVELER!

The skyline is a Mocking reflection of my Day Dreamer's Passage.

My thoughts wander chasing butterflies in the Garden of my mind.

Graceful waves of ferns emote a welcome greeting on my Sojourn.

Glimmers of blue and green sparkle at the edges of my Dream off the cool waters catching the sunlight.

My Day Dreamer's thoughts feather to nothing, burdens of the day, easing the Signs of worry from my brow.

A brilliant smile lit from within, hints of the whimsical fancies that dance to a tune only this Day Dreamer hears.

Mysterious thoughts challenge and inspire and excite my Day Dreamer's Nature.

Lack of coherent order releases the Bonds that shroud the Boundary of my senses.

Reflections of a secret romantic, flicker as patterns of mist and fog, smoke and shadow, sun and moonbeams, and fall across my Day Dreamer's imaginary Landscape.

Warmth, laughter, and LOVE -- all welcome ingredients for Today's Illusions and Tomorrows Hopes.

And, the polly wogs in the Pond all turn into Princes, as the Day Dreamer's interludes slip by-the-by.

The drab sparrow drops its cloak, revealing beneath its brightly feathered finery in a Peacock's plumage; But, Beware the hidden heart of a Hawk!

A profusion of flowers array in drooping sleepy splendor along the Day Dreamer's Path.

Candle flames dance merrily into the evensong of the Sunset.

Flickers of moonlight beckon the Day Dreamer to witness its play on the garden Steps.

Overhead the stars in the night lit heavens, shine as celestial beacons, softly guiding this Nocturnal Traveler.

Whispers of a soft summer evening drift on a gentle breeze, ruffling the rhythms of my Flight.

Such are the Meanderings of my mind.

I am – A DAY DREAMING TRAVELER!

[Dorothy Hazel Tarr - 2011]